Excitement. The Shlichim instructed all the Seniors to move to the front of the line, the time had finally come. I grabbed the hands of my friends on either side of me as we made our way into the darkroom and wrapped around the tea lights on the floor. You could feel our electric anticipation, nearly bursting out of our circle while we waited for everyone else to join us.

Comfort. Havdalah began like every other BBYO one, proceeding with the traditions we are all accustomed to. We were wrapped up in the familiarity of the ceremony, blissfully unaware of what would happen next.

Realization. “All too Well” by Taylor Swift begins to play, and our grips on the shoulders of those next to each other tightens. The theme of our convention was “Reunited and it Feels So Good,” and just as we were reunited, we were about to begin onto separate paths.

Sadness. There’s no other way to describe it: we were sad. The tears began to flow as each new song added a layer to our mourning of the beginning of the end of our BBYO journeys.

Support. The Circle began to lose its form as hugs were passed around like candy. Each BBG and Aleph expressed their feelings without fear of judgment and were met with reassurance and love.

Longing. As Havdalah concluded, we felt a tie to the Einstein Room where it was held, and an emotional connection to each other that will last forever. No matter where life takes us, we will miss the moments of vulnerability we shared as a siblinghood.